Front Porch Pickin'

Honestly, it's like I'm shopping for people.

The presidential election season is getting ready to take a wild leap from somewhat interesting to may I have your attention please and I don't feel quite prepared for it. In recent years, I've already had my candidate of choice in mind before the primaries even start and this year I find myself uninterested in the lot of viable and acceptable candidates. When folks start talking about presidential hopefuls I just have to sit on my hands and listen because I don't have all of the facts, stats, and voting record tidbits at the ready.

Something must be done about this.

So, I've come up with the first poll in modern history that has to be taken by the candidate instead of a member of the electorate. It's like a one of those surveys that one of your friends e-mails you asking about your favorite color, dog name, last time you were kissed, and shoe size even though this friend should already know these things about you but you go ahead and fill it out because you don't want to be the only one who doesn't reply. Well this survey is way less annoying and way more important.

The directions are simple. I'll list what I want from a president and then I'll rely on your input on which candidate best foots the bill. Here we go.

Give me a President who...

• Uphold the laws, statutes, and amendments of the U.S. Constitution.
• Is not afraid of going to war but who would only take us there if American lives depended on it.
• Will tell the United Nations to either backup their sanctions or get out of New York.
• Build a fence at both Canada and Mexico's borders YESTERDAY!
• Cut off all international aid. We have debt here we need to fix first.
• Immediately cut off 80% of all entitlement programs. The other 20% will receive budget cuts.
• Begin domestic drilling for oil. ANWAR or not, it can be done efficiently and safely with little repercussion on the environment.
• Will tell those proclaiming Anthropogenic Global Warming to take a flying leap.
• Will work within his power, and with that of the judiciary, to overturn Roe vs. Wade and outlaw the death penalty. The Constitution states that it must protect the rights to Life and it is the President's duty to see that it is carried out.
• Will cut taxes, cut spending, move our economy to the gold standard, and increase incentives for family and small business.
• Will keep his nose (and that of congress) out of the bedroom of America. While the Bible is very clear on its stance on Homosexuality (and on this stance I 100% agree), I don't think it good practice for Congress to legislate what can and can't happen there. The Constitution does not venture into the issues surrounding the bonds of marriage for a reason...deciding who can and can't get married HAS NO PLACE IN GOVERNMENT.
• Will fix, then privatize, the health care system.
• Allow parents to have the choice of where to send their kids to school. There is only one thing that government does well. This isn't it. My president will push for the removal of federal mandates from the public education system (by allowing free vouchers) so that only the best and most effective schools will thrive.

That's about all I have time for right now. Can you think of a candidate who fits this mold?

Air pollution...not on my watch!

During the election season last year, all of the folks in the newsroom were tossing around their opinions about a statewide smoking ban. There was one common reaction from just about every person to whom I talked and that was, "Ew...I hate smoke. I hope it gets banned in November".

Well I, too, hate the smell of cigarette smoke and the cancer causing ingredients in contains, and the fact that it is the only product on the market that when used as directed kills you. Please don't misunderstand that. However, I think a larger point has been missed here.

Government should have no right to tell a private business owner to whom he can or can't open his doors.

How is it that a "No Smoking" sign couldn't have been enough to tell smokers to go elsewhere to light up? How is it that a "smoking section" isn't enough of an indicator that if non-smokers don't want to smell smoke, then they should be seated in the non-smoking section? So what...because smokers and non-smokers alike couldn't follow the plainly written placards, the tyrannical majority felt it necessary to force a moral highground issue down citizen's throats?

How is that the American way?

Again don't get me wrong here, I hate it that people are addicted to this garbage. This habit is debilitating and kills too many moms, dads, and kids each year. But if you don't want to smell smoke, then don't frequent the establishments that have smoking sections; this includes the ones that are poorly ventilated. If you want to light up after a meal, don't expect a non-smoking restaurant to cater to you or like cliental. How is that hard to understand?

Now, in enclosed spaces where it is difficult or impossible to remove yourself from unwanted secondhand smoke (i.e. a train, subway, or work place) it is pretty universal that smoking is prohibited and only permitted outside of these facilities or in a designated smoking room with ventilation (i.e. large airports). Now that this sweeping ban has passed, smokers don't even have that choice anymore.

This smoking ban should have never made it to the ballot in the first place. It should have been left up to the free market system to handle. If there is a greater demand for non-smoking establishments, then more and more business owners will cater to that crowd. If there is a large smoking population nearby, locally owned, private business should be able to offer goods and services to them without the government's dissatisfaction.

Now that this precedent has been set, what civil liberty will voters take away next? Will they ban private gun ownership because, "I don't like knowing there are guns in my neighborhood"? Will they vote away your right to spend your money at wal-mart because "I don't like that they forced mom-n-pop shops out of business"?

New York is already banning the use of trans fats like there is no tomorrow and the wackos on Capitol Hill are trying to do the same all over the country. When are we finally going to look at the 400lbs. lady who cries that McDonald's made her fat and call her out for her lack of personal responsibility?

I don't need Uncle Sam to save me from myself, thank you, and I don't need the voter to do that either. What if I want trans fats in my hamburger every once in a while? Am I gonna have to go to Canada to get it (did anyone else shutter when they read that)? Come on, people!

Dave Hudson said it best,

"Just pave my road and kill those who are trying to kill me. I'll take care of
the rest".

I wish that was true.